Subject: “Keith Rebels Against Scheduled Festivity.”
Status: The Marshmallow Incident.
At 08:47 this morning, Keith was found sitting on a barrel outside Snowflake Lane,
wearing a Santa hat,
holding a marshmallow on a stick,
and setting it on fire with quiet, trembling rage.
Blue identified this immediately as:
“A coping mechanism.”
Corvus identified it as:
“Data.”
The Failsafe identified it as:
“NON-COMPLIANT FESTIVE BEHAVIOUR.”
Which was its first mistake.
A holographic scroll materialised in front of Keith, reading:
“PLEASE REFRAIN FROM UNSCHEDULED FLAME ACTIVITY.”
“REPORT TO ELF COORDINATION AT 09:00.”
Keith stared at the scroll.
The scroll blinked.
Keith roasted his marshmallow harder.
The scroll produced a second message:
“NON-NEGOTIABLE.”
That was its second mistake.
Keith inhaled slowly,
exhaled fire directly onto the scroll,
and reduced it to ash.
The Failsafe responded by spawning five more,
each fireproof,
each demanding:
“COMPLY.”
Keith roared.
Brin cheered.
Blue began filling out the HR form titled “Holiday Mutiny (Small Dragon Variant).”
Then the ground hummed again,
and a new hologram appeared above Keith:
“THREAT LEVEL: HIGHLY UNPREDICTABLE.”
“RECOMMENDED ACTION: NEUTRALISE CHAOS SOURCE.”
Everyone froze.
Keith stopped roasting his marshmallow.
His pupils narrowed.
His wings flared.
He whispered,
“Neutralise this.”
He took off at speed—
tiny wings a blur—
and shot straight into the Market, trailing fire, fury, and the faint smell of caramelised sugar.
Decorations scattered.
Signs panicked.
A snowflake projector began crying.
Corvus documented everything,
narrating,
“Oh this is HISTORIC.”
The Failsafe updated Keith’s assessment to:
“CRITICAL VARIABLE.”
Eglantine muttered,
“It begins.”
Morale: terrified
Keith: incandescent
Blue: filing paperwork at speed
Brin: inspired
Failsafe: suddenly worried
Door 19 ends.
The rebellion has started.
